OTHER SIDE OF ME

Pretending doesn’t mean you are hiding all the things about you to others, but it is the preparation to look for someone who can accept the fact and appreciate who you are. I am just afraid to let someone know that I’m not strong enough to face the reality; the other side of me.
Simple, responsible and with sense of humor, that’s what others see me as they knew who I am. They consider me as a man of good character, faith and compassion. The people around me expect a lot of things. They try to mold me as a better person. Believing that I can do everything under the sun, I am just a human, I am not perfect. I have also my negative side- my alter ego.

Although I wear a mask of joyfulness, behind of those sweet smiles, funny jokes and unbreakable lines is my alter ego, being a loner. You always see me as a happy person, but deep inside, I am bleedin’. It comes to a point that I have to express my feelings even it was so hard. I need to become stronger. It appears when I cannot handle all the problems and struggle in life. All I can do is to cry and cry until my tears fade away.

Some people judge me as a person with no dreams and goals in life- easy go lucky, but no one can tell how much they know the person until they put themselves into one’s life. Moreover, being a loner is not giving up, losing faith or throwing away your pride, but to heal the wound of loneliness.

The only thing in this world that is constant is change. People change, usually into everything they said it wouldn’t be. World is so dynamic. Time will come, we will realized that the true meaning of loneliness, happiness and joyfulness is that of pretending.